Dearest,
You may not please them. You may not be the best in the room. You may not get it right. These are all good things. This is experience- a valuable one if you conduct yourself in a way that helps you learn.
Get used to not being perfect. Get used to making mistakes on the bandstand, cringing at the recording, then going back and doing it again. That is the only way forward. You can hide, or you can keep moving. That is the sport.
You know what you have to work on. There’s no rushing it and there’s no hack. After all, you’re happy to be doing it. You’re happy to be here.
It’s very loud- you need to leave and get some air, and don’t feel too bad about it.
ANOTHER WEEK IN NEW YORK
Washington DC is beautiful. It’s quieter, cleaner, and slightly warmer than New York. But then I walk out of Penn Station, glad to grumble my way to 34th and Herald, the sky closed in with tall buildings. A woman walking behind me curses at the air, wishing someone to fight her. Pigeons fly too close and I scurry out of their way.
Much of my conversations with locals are about New York City. It’s so cold, it’s only getting worse, parking is horrible, paying rent sucks, and life is easier everywhere else. But everyone is laughing about it, and the music… well. Someone said “I have a theory that if you love New York, you will always love New York, but if you hate New York, you’ll never grow to love it.” 🤷🏻♀️
On average, I’ve been having more “that was incredible” experiences. This city is built for serendipity. After all, you live within a few miles of everyone. In California I spent a lot of time alone. It was good for focus, but being social and having mirrors and “feedback” all around is teaching me a lot about myself. It’s also been great for connecting ideas and answering some of the questions I’ve been chewing on.
And people are interesting. We all have our shit- failures, divorces, needs, drives, ambitions, shortcomings, etc. I’ve always liked seeing the human in people. It’s pretty beautiful.
GORGEOUS
Last week I shared a tune Fred Hersch performed live- I went through the rest of this solo piano album and love this gem. “All I Want” by Joni Mitchell. This interpretation gave me smiles, chuckles, and heartache. As life does.
Here’s the original Joni version:
“All I really, really want our love to do, is to bring out the best in me and in you too”
Enjoy. I’ve been walking up and down the streets to this music all week.
YEAR END
And all of a sudden it’s 2 weeks from 2024. You ready?
Yours,
Connie